People falling in love experience the greatest joys and happiness just by being in the presence of their partner. They wish to remain in that phase for ever.
People have different personalities. Men and women behave differently in the same situation. These differences cause the attraction but after the attraction has played its role and the honeymoon is over, the couple come to realize that they are different. Where there are differences, there will be problems. When the relationship faces stress, the inherent weakness in either of the partners becomes visible.
These weakness expose the vulnerabilities in the personality and makes the person behave different, from the time, that they fell in love. Not understanding that our partner’s personality is different from us and that they behave in differently from us causes problems that are difficult to handle. Most relationships break because couples don’t know how to get along.
Here are some of the indications that your relationships could be in trouble.
When you are constantly being monitored by you partner. Your partner is extremely suspicious about your whereabouts. Whom you talk to, whom you meet, chat on the phone. Directing your behavior and instructing you on how to dress, talk and behave with others. When your partner is constantly suspicious about your every move.
When you constantly feel that pressure of being judged for your every word and action. You feel that your life is constantly being monitored. It feels awkward or uneasy to share your deep inner feelings as you are aware that you will not be understood or you will be misunderstood or critically judged. So you try to be the person you partner wants you to be. You conform to his expectations. You feel caged and unable to express yourself with your partner. You are constantly in fear that some wrong word or action can trigger an ugly reaction from your partner. These type of relationships have a short life and it all end when the suppressed partner reaches the end of their tolerating capacity.
When you are constantly living in fear if your partner will misunderstand your communication. Constantly thinking about phrasing your words before speaking least you are misunderstood. This is a good indication that trust and understanding is lacking in the relationship. Without ample of trust and understanding the relationship will struggle to survive.
You are always wondering about how long the relation will survive or doubting the level of commitment of your partner towards the relationship. When ever you talk about marriage they changes the topic. They are avoiding to take you to social functions and introduce you to their business or office friends. You are questioning yourself if you are the only person in their life. Are they deliberately keeping you away form their contacts. It’s an indication that they are not serious about you.
You are beginning to feel suffocated in this relationship. You are avoiding their call and messages. You are cancelling the dates by giving some lame excuse. You now don’t feel the joy in being around your partner. It feels like a big drag to be around that person. The nice and funny things they did in the past that you used to like are now stupid and irritating. Even their voice is now beginning to sound unpleasant to your ears.
You are now thinking about your values and interest in life. Do they match with your partner? Do you share any common ground? Was it just attraction that brought the two of you together or was it real love? There are too many adjustments that need to be made in order this relationship survives. How long can you continue making these adjustments? Is all this effort worth this relationship?
You are avoiding your friends. You stop going out. Doing the things you once liked are not enjoyable any longer. You either are staying too much at home or are keeping your self too occupied with work.
You are feeling that your identity is getting lost or slowly dying. You are not this person that you have now become. You seem to have become someone else. You don’t like this new person that you have become. You have made too many compromises to stay in this relationship and now you don’t want to continue making any more compromises. You want to assert your self and be the person you really are and you know fully well that you won’t be accepted.
The real reason for this change in behavior is that you are not happy in this relationship. You don’t feel the love, respect, joy, happiness, freedom to be who you are in this relationship. Instead you feel tied down, restricted, controlled and fearful. You feel that you are giving too much and receiving too little. It doesn’t feel that the contribution is equal in the relationship. It feels like they have taken undue advantage of your goodness.
Under these circumstances couples either head for a separation or seek help of a marriage and family therapist to save the relationship.
Men and women are different in their thinking, needs and fulfilling these needs. Without fully understanding that men and women are different and they express themselves differently there is bound to be conflict.
When couples learn about these differences they realize that the misunderstandings were because of the differences and not because they their love was less. Their relationships become loving, trusting and the most fulfilling experience of life. They learn to live happily together.
If you are facing problems in your relationships please contact us. It will make us happy to be of help you.
Homeopathy combined with counseling has proven time and again to be extremely effective in treating the bad effects of relationship crisis and its after effects on the mind and body. Reduces the mental agony and pain. Helps to rebuild the damaged or broken relationships.
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